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Erin Burnett: Why I Would Not Impress CNBC’s Anchor

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For a variety of non-financial reasons, I like to read Men's Health from cover to cover each month. I know it's not as entertaining as Maxim Magazine for a lot of people, but I still like it. Though it has a ton of advertising and is one of the few magazines where it's impossible to get cheap, the content is usually well worth the cost. I've even found the articles about money fairly interesting. In the Jan/Feb edition, I found one such interesting article. Unfortunately, I can't say it's very helpful to their target audience.

On page 123, there is an article 8 ways to impress me by Erin Burnett. Let's go through them one by one and look at why Men's Health would put this (with other articles) under a page titled, "Let Your Money Grow."

1. "Any guy who can plan a trip to an exotic locale... would impress me" - That doesn't sound pretty cheap does it?
2. "Buy me a new atlas and globe... I love to travel and hope to eventually set foot in 100 countries." - An atlas and a globe, I can handle that. Stepping in 100 countries, well that could get pricey.
3. "...round-trip business-class tickets to Australia and New Zealand for my parents would earn you big points" - Assuming they live near NYC, that's probably more than $5,000 gift for just the airline tickets. That sounds like a good way to "let your money grow"
4. "...I'd be impressed if you thought to send a yoga instructor to my apartment for private sessions." - In NYC that's got to cost at least a $1,000 a month right?
5. "Finding an exercise bike at my door would be great..." - This is something that's a pretty reasonable one-time cost. Of course, getting exercise equipment for a woman you want to impress is always smart idea. If you can't smell the sarcasm in that last sentence, I can't help you.
6. "Reading is a passion of mine, so a gathering with some of my favorite authors... would make for an exceptional evening." - When she started with reading, I thought it would surely be a way to earn some major points on the cheap. That was one big curve-ball she threw though.
7. "Hiring a personal chef to prepare meals... would be unforgettable." - You know I really would love to do this. While I'm at it, let me get you one for your new yoga instructor.
8. "A long weekend spa getaway for my sisters and me would be perfection" - My money is multiplying just reading this...

I realize that Erin Burnett probably makes a great income. As part of her career she rubs elbows with CEOs who have multiple millions of dollars. It seems that this is poor choice for the average reader of Men's Health - especially if you going to run the article on a page with other tips about helping your money grow.

Last updated on December 11, 2008.

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26 Responses to “Erin Burnett: Why I Would Not Impress CNBC’s Anchor”

  1. RateLadder says:

    I laughed out loud. Thank you for my morning entertainment.

  2. Jeremy says:

    Hire a personal chef? Seriously? How about the guy spends a half hour watching food network and downloading a recipe and cook a meal himself. Seems like that would impress a lady more than outsourcing it to someone. I’m surprised she didn’t include hiring Matthew McConaughey or Tom Brady to come over on the weekends to provide sexual favors.

  3. Ernesto says:

    Not being a CNBC regular (having a day job) , I had to watch some video to figure out who she was.
    Funny stuff..Especially when she called Prez. Bush a monkey.
    She definitely has “high-maintenance” written all over her.

  4. RateLadder says:

    BTW — I digged, reddited, and stumbled this article… So if you like this article and are into that sort of thing, then you know what to do.

  5. Stucco says:

    I don’t know that I could find her less appealing. I’d never heard of her until she praised lead toys from China. Why is it we would want to impress her?

  6. Lily says:

    Wow, Erin sounds high-maintenance. I think not only was this article a dumb choice for Men’s Health, but Erin diminishes all women at least a little. I don’t need extravagant displays of wealth from my men, and I hope most women feel the same way.

    8 Ways to Impress Lily:

    1. Pack your bags. Any guy who can plan a roadtrip to a nearby hiking trail (and not get us lost on the road or on the trail) would impress me.

    2. Buy me a new atlas and globe. We can post-it note places we want to visit and start saving up for it.

    3. Do something special for my parents. Tell them how great I am. ;)

    4. Relax me. Give me a massage. It means so much more coming from a significant other than from a stranger, even if the stranger is a trained professional.

    5. Help me work out. Go running with me at the local park. Equipment is not the issue; motivation is!

    6. Edify me. Share your hobbies with me and teach me something new. No need to invite famous people to dinner.

    7. Please my palate. Show me you can work wonders in the kitchen. Even mad microwave skills will impress. Seriously!

    8. Send me packing. Let me have me time, and let ME worry about how to pay for it!

  7. dong says:

    I’d cut her some slack. I don’t think those things she’d be impressed are so unreasonable given her own circumstances. It’s a wish list after all. I mean who makes a wish list with just the low hanging fruit.

  8. Agreed…that was a bad choice to run in that section.

  9. guinness416 says:

    Yeah, but if you were hopped up on all the supplements they advertise on every second page you might think they were reasonable!

    (It’s no less ridiculous than some of the sex/women articles they write, from this woman’s perspective. My husband subscribes too. On the positive side, they have pretty cover boys though!)

  10. Lazy Man says:

    Dong, I’m cutting her a little slack. I realized that she travels in high net worth circles. I didn’t see it as a total wish list though. While I realize it’s in the money section, she could have easily said something along the lines of “go mountain biking with me” or “read some of the authors I like.” From what I can infer about the side comments she left, those types of things would impress the average woman with her likes and dislikes.

    Guinness416, I always thought that sex/women articles are pretty good. My wife likes to read them and she agrees with them.

  11. CNBC, say no more! ;-)

    #1: Yeah, I can do that, walking a few dozen miles a day, we should be in South America at the end of the summer 8)

    #5: Should not be too hard. Lots of people are given exercise equipment away for free as they are upgrading their “clothes hangers”. Box Flex in particular is good for hanging towels on. I guess that’s why they’re impossible to find on the freebie lists.

  12. Cheapster Bob says:

    It was like she was speaking a foreign language.

    All gibberish to me. Something about spending money???

  13. Great article Lazy. I wonder what she would give back for gifts like those? ;)

    Happy New Year!

  14. David says:

    Seems way too high maintenance for me!

  15. Patrick says:

    She is way too high maintenance for me (and most people I associate with). I guess for a certain subsection of society, that is normal. But I think you’re right, Lazy Man – most of the readers of Men’s Health would skim right past that article without a second thought. I wonder why they would include an article like that which offers very little value to the average reader? That’s worse than the clothing advertisements in Maxim magazine with $400 pairs of blue jeans, $300 sunglasses, and $200 shirts. Based on my experience, the average Maxim reader pays $20 on shirts.

  16. Mark Framness says:

    Item #1 is not as bad as what you may think. Experienced travelers know a few things. Plan the trip in general, do not book lodging & excursions through multiple middle men (i.e. book them when you arrive), and there are places to stay that are cheap and perfectly acceptable. Sure, you may have to share restrooms & bathing facilities, you have time your bathing to get hot water, etc but it is not as expensive as one would think. Remember, we do not go to exotic locations for the baths and hotels, but for the location.

    One of the guys on my climb of Kilamanjaro was from the Land Down Under and he was practically in tears when he heard what we payed on site for our climb as compared to what he paid in Australia for the same package.

    Hehehehe, however, I don’t think Ms. What’s Her Face would be up to staying in a guest-house in Arusha Tanzania but instead would want to stay in a five star in Dar es Salaam and helicopter to/from her excursion.

  17. After readin her requests I don’t think she’s my type anymore:-). I wonder what”her talents” are that would make her worth so my spending on her :-)

  18. dj says:

    Um…anyone notice how all of her requests have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the man himself, it’s all about HER and her family and doesn’t even include him (drop off exercise equipment…just leave it at the door, send my parents on a trip, let me go to a spa with my sisters, send a chef to cook for me, private yoga lessons…yeah, you don’t need to be here for any of this just know that I’m impressed by it. Oh, and can you please drop me off the Tiffany’s catalogue? thanks s’much).

    Oy. Anywho, love your blog very insightful!


  19. Misha says:

    A response to the responses to Erin Burnett.
    >Warning: Long Tirade<

    1. Pack Your Bags: Any guy who can plan a trip to an exotic locale … She did say plan it, she never said pay for it.
    2. Buy Me a New Atlas and Globe … Are you guys serious? If you can’t afford these, how are you paying for your Internet hookup? She say she wants to dream and to have her man share the dream. Oh but that sounds like a ragging bitch, to you?
    3. Do Something Special for My Parents … True, the greed does come flaming through here. Why she would want a man to treat her parents nicely is beyond me. Can’t we just float them out on an ice flow these days?
    4. Relax Me – OK, my significant other is not rich, but she is extremely busy. I’ve bought massage gift cards for many time that she simply wasn’t able to keep the appointment. If I’d sent a massuese to her house I would have saved plenty.
    5. Help Me Work Out: Finding an exercise bike at my door … yeah she is alone on this one. Unless I know she wants one, doesn’t have the time to research what’s best, and then go out and find it. Again, she never asked me to pay for it, just find it.
    6. Edify Me: I completely understand how this would piss off a lot people (especially since they probably had to go to dictionary.com to find out what edify means.) I’m not a millionaire, but my wish list would have been much harder to field. Try lining up Edna St. Vincent Milay, Dr. Seuss and Mark Twain. And I’m guessing that few of you know that Jared Diamond and Robin McKinley are very down to Earth writers and not ones that would require you to fork out $10,000 for a shot of their crotches as they exited the limo.
    7. Please My Palate: Another extravagance, I’ll give you that. But did she say you would not be invited? Did she say it had to be Martha Stewart or Wolfgang Puck? And what is this “few nights a week?” 2? 3? 8? Might it be good to ask? And who said she didn’t mean she wanted someone to prepare the meals in advance so she could pop them in the microwave and still be able to eat healthy?
    8. Send Me Packing: “A man who recognizes the importance of my time with the girls is a keeper. A long weekend spa getaway for my sisters and me would be perfection.” Again. What is your problem? She wants to know if you’ll understand her need for R&R. “Recognizing the importance” does not mean footing the bill.

    Wise up will you? She doesn’t need you and your paltry paycheck. And by the way most of you male responders are acting, your paycheck is probably all you have to offer. Close the moths back in there and go home.

  20. rofkie says:

    #6 is easy, and she and Jim Cramer have already been quite close. It really wouldn’t be too hard or costly to get him to meet her at a home.

  21. Raghav says:

    Maybe it’s just me, but I think that wish list was her indirect way of talking about her own interests. I thought it was clever, not pretentious. I don’t think she really thinks this is the bare minimum to date her…….

  22. Realistic says:

    Misha, it’s hilarious how you went through and tried to justify every item of her ridiculous list.

    Let’s face it, this is just the Wall Street version of the crap you see on every girl’s myspace page.

    1-3: “I want to travel someday!!” (but never have)
    4-5: “I try to stay fit…” (but usually fail)
    6: “I love to read!” (harry potter)
    7: “Turn ons – a man who can cook!!!” (because I sure as hell can’t)
    8: “I <3 my sisters!!!!!!!!” (biological and/or sorority)

    The really disheartening part is that, as a woman of some means herself, you’d think that she would be less interested in finding a sugar daddy. Instead her gold digging instincts seem to have multiplied with her own wealth and status, and “Let’s go to Mexico!” became “Send my parents to Australia!” I’m sure that there is no shortage of gullible millionaires who will gladly oblige her.

  23. Robert says:

    She’s really just eye candy for CNBC. Most of her political and business views are borderline moronic. When she is on the air, it’s best to hit the mute button and enjoy the view. Otherwise, she’s a waste of space.

  24. doomed says:

    Erin Burnett is member of The Council on Foreign Relations (CFR). A member of the CFR is a member of the American Ruling Class. So is Trish Reagan. There’s other well known CFR media member’s like Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Kathie Couric, Jim Lehrer, Charlie Rose, Lesley Stahl among others. There’s no way I could impress her. The CFR is considered to be the most influential foreign-policy think tank. Over 18 Secretaries of State were CFR members.

    If you are aware, you would realize that the U.S. media is filtered. Our freedom of the press is ranked 36 quite behind Costa Rica 22. The reason why is because the elite bankers that created the Federal Reserve (the US central bank) bought the media. The Federal Reserve Act was passed one day before Christmas Eve in 1913. They make money by lending it government. The government needs to borrow more money during war. The elite bankers levered the money of the US to enable WW I in 1914. For this reason our media tends to be pro-war. I’m not saying that all ruling class members are evil. The ruling class has its good & bad like any group of people. But they tend to be on the side of wealth & warfare.

    Our founding fathers tried protect us with the constitution by saying only congress has the power to make money & guaranteeing the freedom of the press. Our media & democracy has corrupted by money. Margaret Brennan is on Bloomberg is hot too & she doesn’t belong to the CFR. Michael Bloomberg does though.

    CFR members http://www.cfr.org/content/about/annual_report/ar_2009/Membership_Roster2009.pdf
    CFR http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Council_on_Foreign_Relations
    Freedom of press http://www.rsf.org/en-classement794-2008.html

  25. warrior says:

    May I have your comments.My feeling is that because she had the station ok that they couldnt fire without firing the manager.Her contract was up this summer.I can tell you for sure she was well liked amon g the other reporters excpt Maria.When her contract came up they chose not to renew it.They saved her sa.lery and the expenses of her traveling with four others.Who will they replace her with is obvious—Mandy.I left cnbc for fox because of the musical chairs they play with people.Erin is going to cnn not for a job openiong but for a job being created fpor her.She has many connections.She is losing since her great love,her passbook will not be used.Also is will not get three hours of air time.She made a million dollars which for her work isnt much in New York.We will know the whole story on youtube in six months.Someone from cnbc will have drinkks with a friend and spill his guts.CNBC is hurt losing Reagen and now erin.

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