For those that haven’t been following, I’m getting married next year. Today we are heading out to Macy’s to set up our wedding registry. There’s only one small problem. We have no clue what to register for. When we met, we each owned our own condos and getting to a point where we could get our stuff into one
was still is a great task.
A lot of people register for silverware or fine china. I had got some nice silver on a Friday sale at Amazon though, and we both deem fine china as a waste of money. We’ll end up breaking it or never using it. There are other things we could “upgrade”, but most of what we have now suits or surpasses or needs. Most of the things that couples typically register just don’t seem to work for us. We rent now (our investment properties are back east), so most of the home improvement stuff that we were originally thinking of getting doesn’t make as much sense.
Over the past 6 months we’ve come up with some sundry items that we could use, but I’m not sure it’s enough. So we could use a little help. Any ideas?
Hi I know its a bit sensitive with some people but how about a money tree? Where people just peg envelopes of money to a plant or some other device? Money is probably the only useful thing that you need when you have everything already…
Allowing people to send gifts to a charity you deem meaningful is defintely one solution.
Some people also “register” for people to cover honeymoon expensives, but that has two problems. One, if you don’t get someone to pay for those ski-doo lessons, you’ll have to pony up yourself, and that makes it hard to budget. Two, plenty of people find it tacky.
If you are looking for “things,” I will say that it never hurts to upgrade your pots and pans. People cook more when they cook for two.
Very good suggestions from both. We feel it’s a little too tacky to do the money tree, yet we’ve spread the word verbally that money is preferred.
We will probably go the charity route, but my fiancee did that once without the best results. People did give to the charity, but they felt the need to bring something, so she got a lot of little figurines. Hopefully we’ll get things that have a purpose as we can’t display the ones we currently have.
We looked hard at the pots and pans today, but decided that neither of us can take advantage of them. The set we have now is good enough without the special copper core (or things of that nature).
We did find some useful things today. A collapsable silicon collander will save space in the kitchen. We also liked a combination blender food processor. Anyone have good suggestions along those lines? We are both addicted to the Container Store and Ikea. Odd that neither have a registry.
The Travelin' Man says
If there is nothing that you need, why are you registering? It seems as though you are going through the motions because it is what is expected of you. I gave a couple who also “merged” two previous households a gift certificate for a few nights away in a hotel of their choosing. I would go the route of requesting things for a honeymoon – there may be a way for people to pool their frequent flier miles, hotel points, etc; gift cards for some new lingerie (or other travel clothes); lessons (skiing, boating, etc.); a cruise; etc. If some find requesting those items “tacky,” then politely accept whatever gift they choose to send.
The historical reason for wedding gifts (and registering for those gifts) was that YOUNG people, who had no possessions, married and needed to set up their new home. Pots and pans were gifts because the couple had no pots and pans. Nowadays, gift registries are an excuse for people to get “nicer” stuff that what they had previously – the $75 paper towel holder that a friend registered for is one thing that comes to mind for me. If your “stuff” is good enough today, why do you need better “stuff” when you are married?
Travelin’ Man, you almost make too much sense. If we don’t register, I can pretty much guarantee that we’ll get a lot of things that we don’t want. That will lead to hurt feelings if we have to discard the gifts. There’s a lot of etiquette to consider, and that’s not my particular strong suit. I’ll pass the idea on to my fiancee and see what the protocol is.
The traveling idea is a decent one, but we have a timeshare and airline miles that will likely cover a lot of our expenses.
I think the last paragraph really is the important one to focus on. I’ve seen $800 teapots on registries. It seems insane to have an $800 teapot and a half million mortgage – which is what it would cost for the cheapest home in San Mateo County. I guess this is what I’m struggling with. I know PF bloggers can be a practical bunch and I’m hoping there’s some special secret to following ettiquette and getting value out of the gifts.
I’d register for a few things that you’ll use eventually (even if you have enough now). Such as towels & sheets. Or if you really want to go the charity route, register for things that a homeless shelter would need, and then donate them after you get them.
You are absolutely right about if you don’t register, you are going to get weird gifts you won’t be able to take back. You’ll get those even if you do register, because people are silly. If you want to be practical and not just ask for money, you might think of registering somewhere like Target (that fine french store) where you can get practical things too .Do’t worry about protocol, just know people wil want to do something for you, and if you give them some tactful direction as to what would be most helpful, you will be surprised at how well people will respond. Just make sure if you have a money tree, you have trusted people keep an eye on it at all times- my aunt had one that got robbed- lol. Also- make sure you have a way to track and thank eveyone. Thats my two cents lol
Great discussion. I have been thinking about this myself. I was leaning towards going the charity route, but your fiancee’s experience kinds throws cold water on that idea.
I love the idea of the “few nights get away” but its hard to put that on a registry. I wouldn’t mind something like that from everyone – we could have at least one romtantic getaway planned for every year. That would definitely be a highly valued gift I’m sure will help sustain our marriage.
I definitely don’t want to register for stuff that I would never spend my own money on – that pretty much eliminates the bulk of what registries typically comprise of today.
Thanks, this has really been helpful. I don’t think we’ll do a money tree as I’ve never seen one done. I don’t know if it’s just something that isn’t done in Northeast or it’s just me.
I like the idea of a few nights get away if we didn’t already have a few weeks of timeshare to use.
I like the Target idea, do they have a Free Toothpaste For Life program? I’m kidding… I think… It’s really not a terrible idea.