Lazy Man and Money

Erin Burnett: Why I Would Not Impress CNBC’s Anchor

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For a variety of non-financial reasons, I like to read Men’s Health from cover to cover each month. I know it’s not as entertaining as Maxim Magazine for a lot of people, but I still like it. Though it has a ton of advertising and is one of the few magazines where it’s impossible to get cheap, the content is usually well worth the cost. I’ve even found the articles about money fairly interesting. In the Jan/Feb edition, I found one such interesting article. Unfortunately, I can’t say it’s very helpful to their target audience.

On page 123, there is an article 8 ways to impress me by Erin Burnett. Let’s go through them one by one and look at why Men’s Health would put this (with other articles) under a page titled, “Let Your Money Grow.”

1. “Any guy who can plan a trip to an exotic locale… would impress me” – That doesn’t sound pretty cheap does it?
2. “Buy me a new atlas and globe… I love to travel and hope to eventually set foot in 100 countries.” – An atlas and a globe, I can handle that. Stepping in 100 countries, well that could get pricey.
3. “…round-trip business-class tickets to Australia and New Zealand for my parents would earn you big points” – Assuming they live near NYC, that’s probably more than $5,000 gift for just the airline tickets. That sounds like a good way to “let your money grow”
4. “…I’d be impressed if you thought to send a yoga instructor to my apartment for private sessions.” – In NYC that’s got to cost at least a $1,000 a month right?
5. “Finding an exercise bike at my door would be great…” – This is something that’s a pretty reasonable one-time cost. Of course, getting exercise equipment for a woman you want to impress is always smart idea. If you can’t smell the sarcasm in that last sentence, I can’t help you.
6. “Reading is a passion of mine, so a gathering with some of my favorite authors… would make for an exceptional evening.” – When she started with reading, I thought it would surely be a way to earn some major points on the cheap. That was one big curve-ball she threw though.
7. “Hiring a personal chef to prepare meals… would be unforgettable.” – You know I really would love to do this. While I’m at it, let me get you one for your new yoga instructor.
8. “A long weekend spa getaway for my sisters and me would be perfection” – My money is multiplying just reading this…

I realize that Erin Burnett probably makes a great income. As part of her career she rubs elbows with CEOs who have multiple millions of dollars. It seems that this is poor choice for the average reader of Men’s Health – especially if you going to run the article on a page with other tips about helping your money grow.

A Lazy Portfolio

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Investing can seem very complex if you are new to it. There are so many options out there. How is one to choose between stocks, mutual funds, CDs, corporate bonds, treasury bonds, savings accounts, and even more exotic options like lending on Prosper. With all this complexity it may be worth simplifying things dramatically. Here’s my idea of a simplified or lazy portfolio.

The first step to my plan is to get a Zecco account. I choose Zecco simply because they charge no commissions to buy exchange traded funds (ETFs). That means, that’s you can re-balance and add to your portfolio each week without incurring huge costs.

What does this lazy portfolio look like? It splits 100% of your money equally into the following ETFs:

  • 25% – Total Stock Market Index (Ticker: VTI) – This ETF tracks the performance of many US stocks. It’s a great way to diversify yourself in across large and small, growth and value stocks.
  • 25% – Vanguard All-World Ex-US fund (Ticker: VEU) – This invests in the many stocks all outside of the United States. I believe you shouldn’t put your eggs in one basket and I consider the US one basket. This reduces currency risk and mitigates against some of the problems that pop up from time to time, like the sub-prime lending one that we are in now.
  • 25% – First Trust Global Real Estate Index Fund (Ticker: FFR) (Ticker: FFR) – This invests in real estate around the world. While it does hold a fair share of US real estate, over 60% is outside of the US (hat tip to Sun’s Financial Diary for the help on this one.) This is a great hedge when all the stock markets aren’t performing.
  • 25% – Vanguard Total Bond Fund (Ticker BND) – This tracks the performance of a huge number of bonds. Bonds can be a little risky if bought individually, but in a fund such as this, that risk is reduced with the many holdings. Bonds also move independently of stocks and real estate, so if either of those two areas are doing poorly, bonds may stabilize your portfolio.

You won’t get rich overnight investing in this allocation. However, since it covers so many areas, you’ll likely find that you sleep well each night.

[Please note that like all my writing, it does not constitute financial advice. I’m simply sharing ideas that I have. Please check with your financial advisor before following through on these ideas.]