Lazy Man and Money

We Disappeared on an Tiny Island (Summer Hole 2018)

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I hope all the fathers out there reading this had a good Father’s Day this weekend. It’s hard not look at the news headlines and realize that not all fathers had a good day.

We just finished up the two week period between the end of school and the start of summer camp. I call this the “summer hole” because my wife and I are kid care for two full weeks. (Summer hole is a particularly bad name since it isn’t summer and hole sounds bad. Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything better.)

Last year was our first year at our school and it caught us by surprise. The school didn’t really announce, “We end everything two weeks before the other schools, good luck with summer camp that doesn’t begin until then.” My wife didn’t plan to take vacation until late and we weren’t prepared. This year things went smoothly, but we saw parents of children in my youngest’s class (their first time) get surprised too.

The first week started with graduation and school-organized play-dates for the kids. You can laugh about the accomplishment of graduating pre-school, but it is certainly cute and entertaining for parents. We did some local things for a day or two and then it was time for my 20th college reunion followed by our annual trip to Block Island.

College Reunion 2018

There’s a reason why everyone says that time flies and 20th reunions are one of them. I wasn’t a huge fan of my college, but it is hard to argue with free tuition at one of the best liberal arts educations in the country. I did make a great group of friends and it was a good opportunity to catch up with them as our lives have moved in different directions.

The big theme of the party, at least for men was, less hair and bigger bellies. I wasn’t an exception to that. We were all reminded of what we looked like 20 years ago so that others could recognize us.

My wife felt like the school really went all out, which I agreed with. My kids, age 4 and 5, were somewhat excited about the new place, but bored easily.

As my wife says, reunions are odd. If you wanted to keep in touch with people, you probably would. Most of the people I’d want to get back in touch with live across the country and didn’t show up. Even if they did, it’s hard to re-kindle a friendship over such a distance with families moving in different directions.

I wish I had a more personal finance angle to share about this. We stayed only 24 hours because my wife was hosting some out of town coworkers in Rhode Island. That was minor pit stop before…

Block Island 2018

If you’ve never heard of Block Island, you are a normal person. There’s a better chance that you’ve heard of Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard. Those islands are known for being popular vacation escapes off the coast of Massachusetts. You aren’t allowed onto those island unless you have a belt that has at least two of the following nautical symbols: anchor, whale, sailboat, ship wheel (helm?), lighthouse, sea star (starfish), or crab. Also, it seems like white pants and pastels are part of the dress code.

Block Island is a lot like Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard, but much smaller. I described it a bit in last year’s Block Island review, but here’s a short explanation: Block Island consists mostly of the city with the fewest people (~1000) in the smallest state (Rhode Island). The island has one grocery store, one bank, and one gas station… and at least 15 beaches and hiking trails.

For us, it has a few advantages:

  • It’s close to us. We can get to ferry in about 30 minutes.
  • It’s a relatively frugal vacation. Plane tickets for our family of four almost always come in around $1000-$1500. Instead, we can bring our car and all of us on the ferry for under $100.
  • We are away form the “dishes.” We can be fully on vacation with no chores and away email messages that say, “We’re on an island with very slow Internet connection. We’ll get back to you in a few weeks.” That’s one reason why we leave one island vacation land to go to another island vacation land.
  • It’s more mindful travel… I think.
  • We can bring the dog. It’s become quite clear to me that dogs and planes don’t mix due to airline policies. Having someone sit the dog can be about $200 for 5 days in my area. (I know, I do a lot of dog sitting myself.)

This year we stayed at Darius Inn. That means we avoided the unsuitable, historical hotel with tiny rooms and little electricity from last year. We went from my worst hotel experience to my best. Darius Inn is like a bed and breakfast. The inn keeper made an awesome (if a little bit hippy on the quinoa and nuts) breakfast every morning. There were daily wine and cheese happy hours.

I’ve never been treated so well staying away from home, which actually made me feel guilty. I’m not use to receiving such generous service.

In addition to saving money with the breakfast that was provided, we brought a lot of our own food. With the kitchenette available and the ability to pack a whole car, there was no reason not it. It’s a good savings, because buying from the grocery is extremely expensive (everything is shipped on ferry, so there’s extra cost to that.) The restaurant costs go up from there.

Here’s a little bit of what we did:

Took the kids and dog to the Block Island Labyrinth:

Block Island Labyrinth

This is a favorite spot of ours. You are supposed to walk around a circular maze/path while you meditate. The kids wanted to run through it. It’s a different type of experience. Even our dog, Jake loved it. He’s like a giant dog on Easter Island:

Block Island Labyrinth Dog

We also searched for glass float globes. An artist comes to the island to hide 550 glass float globes every year. Find one and you get to keep. Seems like it would be easy, but he makes a few trips over the summer releasing about 75 at a time. There are quite a few people who are obsessed with the treasure hunt.

We thought our kids would love it, but it turned out to be too much walking. I thought for sure there would be a glass float in here:

No Glass Float

The weather was rainy for half of our stay, so we spent a little time at the local library. It was literally next door to us at the Darius Inn.

Libraries are doing lots of innovative things nowadays. One day they had a walking book tour. The kids loved walking around reading the book through the various signs.

Walking Book Tour

Unfortunately, my wife got news that she didn’t get the promotion she was hoping for while we were at the library. I didn’t have a magic wand to wave and make things better, but I did find this:

I took an “I’m proud of you!” for my wife and a “Be the change” for the oldest. My youngest got one similar to the “You are loved.”

They library also had a cool honor system program to clean up the island:

Book It Forward

There’s some recognizable books in there, right? We booked it forward with a couple of children’s books that caught the kids’ eyes. And yes we picked up some trash, though we had already cleared out quite a bit on our nature walks.

Finally, we got ourselves one really nice beach day:

Beach Life

Then it was time for home.

Father’s Day (or The $11 Milk Shake)

I was going to write a little bit more about Father’s Day, but my dog is getting impatient for a walk and I have a dentist appointment soon.

Quickly, I can tell you that I am now equipped to properly go to Martha’s Vineyard or Nantucket. My wife found the perfect belt on Poshmark.*

After a Father’s Day lunch (me and my wife’s father were the guests of honor), we went on a walk to get some ice cream. I found a BOGO Father’s Day deal at Ben and Jerry’s which I shared with the kids. My wife wanted to try the fancy new milkshake place in town. The drinks look more like Edible Arrangements than a milkshake.

Unfortunately, I had to leave as my meter expired, but I heard later that it was an $11 milkshake. Looks like a lot has changed in the 20 years since I graduated college. Remember when a $5 milkshake was expensive? (Caution, adult language language:)

Question, it’s still okay to reference Harvey Weinstein movies, right?

This brings you up to date on everything over the last two weeks… with the exception of the two days it took to write and publish this.

* This conversation involved my wife trying to explain Poshmark to her sister with an instant classic, “It’s like Tinder for clothes…” Ummm, honey, is there something you aren’t telling me?

The 5-Minute Guide to Being Billionaire Rich

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Hope all the fathers out there had a great Father’s Day. For my first Father’s Day, I, appropriately, go the gift of a hammock. The better gift though was that my son learned to crawl. It’s more of an inch worm-like scoot, but it is super cute. I almost want to set up some baby barb wire above him, because he looks just like a little soldier. (Mental Note: I need to get video of crawling in his camouflage pants.)

cheeseburger driving a car
I want to go back to baby land where cheeseburgers driving cars makes sense

The other thing we did for Father’s Day was go some of the mansions in Newport, Rhode Island. Specifically we went to The Elms and The Breakers. We went in that order, which was great because The Elms, while being extremely impressive is just not up to par with The Breakers. For those lacking the history, there was a time where the big players in the Gilded Age built these tremendous mansions along the ocean and threw tremendous balls and parties. It’s a lot like the Hearst Castle.

It’s hard for me to describe these mansions. The Breakers is 65,000 square feet, or around 20 times the size of the typical “McMansions” that people were talking about a few years ago. Wikipedia points out that it cost $12 million to build at the time, but that’s $331 million in today’s dollars. That’s enough money to buy Detroit (just kidding). Aside from its size, the ornate carved marble, gold, and platnum that was used throughout the house is incredible. Having shopped for a new fence lately, I can’t imagine how much the majestic gate and fence must have cost in those times – especially since we have better manufacturing nowadays.

Throughout this tour it made me think, “What would you need to do to get this rich today?” In order to tackle that question, we need to define what “this rich” is. It’s one thing to spend $331 million on a house, but it is quite another to maintain it. These mansions typically had around 40 servants (as they were called at the time) working for them. These people had to be paid at least reasonable wages, so let’s put at $30,000 a year. That comes out to about 1.2 million dollars today, but let’s round that up to 2 million. It’s becoming clear to me that going through this step by step is going to be a little too involved fort this article, so let’s just say that you need around a billion dollars to pull this off. It’s worth noting that the family that owned The Elms only stayed there about 8 to 10 weeks of the year.

A billion dollars is more than Tom Brady or Peyton Manning have. You’d face long odds in acting your way to a billion dollars as Mel Gibson and Jack Nicholson seem to top the list around $450 million dollars. (Side Note: Julia Loius Dreyfus proves you can be doubly rich with her Seinfeld fortunes and inheriting billions from her father’s energy company, just like those in the Gilded Age.)

So how does one go about becoming a billionaire? That isn’t the kind of money you are going to win on Survivor or any other reality TV show. Nowadays, if you get extremely lucky and are the lone winner of one of the top lottery jackpots in history, you can expect to get at most $200 million after taking the lump sum and paying the taxes on the winnings. You’d still need to do some shrewd investment or business planning to grow that to a billion. You can’t plan on inheriting this kind of money (well if you can and you are reading this article contact me). Good luck into marrying into a billion dollars – I wouldn’t hold my breath.

What about the stock market? There’s certainly money to be made, but to earn a billion dollars that way, you’d have start with around $132,000 and invest in such a way that you make 25% consistently for 40 years and pay no taxes on it. That might actually sound a lot easier than it seems. If it does, take note that I doubt there’s anyone on Wall Street who has a record of making 25% for 40 years. Oh and after 40 years, you might be too old to really enjoy it.

In the end, the only way I see to get to a billion dollars with any kind of reliability is to start the next great technology company. Gates, Jobs, Ellison did with Microsoft, Apple, and Oracle. Google and Facebook have it’s billion dollar people. You can surely start other kinds of companies, but it isn’t like you are going to compete with Exxon or major airlines in a couple of years.

Hope that I didn’t burst your bubble with 4 minutes of history to just learn the obvious. If it makes you feel any better, these people from the gilded age were not always looked on fondly. They weren’t like Buffet (or even Gates) who have signed on to give most of their fortune back via charities. Nowadays it’s not exactly a great PR move to spend a couple hundred million dollars for a house that you live in only part of the year. Still don’t feel any better? How about this… almost all of the gilded rich ended up giving their money to various heirs and had it either diluted or wasted over the years to the point that these great mansions need to be preserved with funds by tours like the one I went on.

I’ve come to terms that I won’t be leaving the “gilded age” wealth to my son. That’s fine, there’s a lot more wealth below that. Perhaps just as importantly, there’s the kind of wealth that buys you a shirt with a cheeseburger driving a car… and that’s only $2.50.

Father’s Day and Boston becomes Title Town again

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Though I’m a day early, I want to wish all the father’s out there a happy Father’s Day. I am father to an adopted “huskador” (husky-labrador mix). I’m sure that’s stretching the definition of fatherhood out there to those who take care of people, but daily trips to the dog park and 2-3 walks is significant too. My wife has offered to get me something for “Doggy Daddy Day”, but I haven’t figured out what I want. She was thinking about taking me out to a nice restaurant, but she recently had some planned surgery (nothing serious) and it would actually be more work for me to get her to the restaurant.

Many Bostonian dads have had a Father’s Week, with the Bruins’ bringing home the Stanley Cup. I won’t count myself in that group. Though I have spent 30 years in Boston, I became bitter at the ownership for not always putting a competitive product out there. Plus, let’s face, it hockey is in a distant fourth place when it comes to viewership. That said, growing up, it seemed that everyone in my class was a hockey fan. Now that they are adults like myself, I can only imagine what the place has been like the last few days. I watched game 7 from a bar in Northern California and there were lots of high fives and hugging of complete strangers. That’s the beauty of sports. Unfortunately a couple hours after those hugs, I witnessed the dark side of sports – the Vancouver riots. I woke up the next morning thinking, “I wonder who many got hurt or killed and how much damage was done to Vancouver. It should have been a day to reflect on how Boston has dominated the sports world over the last 11 years. My personal Twitter feed was flush with people mentioning that Patriots now have the longest world championship drought… and they have the best record in the NFL over the last 11 years.

Let’s move on to the weekend links:

Money Writers:

Top PF Posts:

Frugal Father’s Day Gifts

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I usually give you very little notice on how to plan for an upcoming frugal holiday. I’m trying to be a little more proactive this year. With that in mind, the calendar flipping to June seems like a time to start thinking about Father’s Day. I’ve never been one to send mushy cards or lavish gifts for Father’s Day. Perhaps it’s just me, but I feel that dads in general are not big fans of sappy cards. Plus cards are overpriced for what they are. Since some dads would feel awkward about accepting anything expensive, it’s best to look for frugal alternatives. Fortunately, many options exist for those of us who want a simple, thoughtful Father’s Day gift to make dad’s day special.

Smaller children can really have fun with Father’s Day. Handmade gifts and anything involving pictures are great gifts from the younger set. I remember giving my dad a smooth rock with the words “Happy Father’s Day” on it that I made in first or second grade. That always got displayed prominently on his desk (despite how ugly it was).

Here are some ideas that would be appropriate for young children to give to their dads:

  • Change Jar – Clean out a glass jar (or purchase one new from a hobby/craft store). Punch a slot in the lid ““ when I’ve done this before I’ve used a slotted screwdriver and a hammer or mallet. Position the screwdriver so that the slot will be in the middle of the lid and tap on the handle with the hammer to punch a hole in the metal. Be sure to turn the lid over and hammer down the pointy bits after you’ve made the slot. Then, make a sign that says “I wouldn’t CHANGE anything about my Dad!” and let the children go to town on decorating the jar. They could use stickers, paint, glitter, ribbon ““ whatever will make the jar festive and whimsical. Practical and fun!
  • A Day Off – A day off is especially appreciated by the younger Dad with small children. Relieve him of his usual household duties for the day and let him go play golf, or go fishing, or any activity of his choosing.
  • Handmade Greeting Card – Ah yes, the old standby. Still, a handmade card is always appreciated. Especially when it involves a handprint! It can be fun to reminisce and look through several years’ worth of cards a few years down the road. There are no rules to creating a handmade card ““ just have fun!
  • Anything with Pictures – These days you can get portraits of your kids (or their artwork) printed on anything! Mugs, calendars, T-shirt, mouse pads ““ the possibilities are endless. You can walk into Wal-Mart (or go online) and order a photo mug for under $10.

Let’s say, however, that you’re no longer in elementary school but you want give your Dad a respectable but not over-the-top gift. Here are some suggestions:

  • Car Detailing – What dad wouldn’t enjoy a freshly washed, waxed and vacuumed car? Gather together all of your cleaning supplies and tackle your dad’s ride. Wash the car, apply tire cleaner, clean the windows inside and out and vacuum the interior.
  • A Custom Playlist or CD – Cater to your dad’s musical tastes and make him a playlist of his favorite tunes. If you make a CD, you can add dad-centric cover art to the case. Every time dad listens to his special playlist, he’ll think of you!
  • Ratcheting Screwdriver – Maybe your dad hasn’t bought himself some new tools in a while. If he’s still using old-school screwdrivers, upgrading him to a ratcheting screwdriver will be easier on his hands and allow him to do those little repairs much quicker! Even the fancier ones with the interchangeable bits can be under $25.
  • Charging Station – Like everyone these days, your dad probably has an array of electronic gadgets. This Gomadic Universal Charging Station is a great way to charge all of those devices without a tangle of unsightly cords.
  • Time – Time with our loved ones is finite. If you’re not in the same city, give your dad a call. Listen to what’s going on in his life and share what’s happening in yours. If you’re lucky enough to live near your dad, perhaps promise him a week of special lunches. These don’t have to be expensive ““ this is more about the company than the atmosphere.

Hopefully these suggestions are helpful – happy Father’s Day to all of the dads out there.

Celtics and Oprah (and some weekend links)

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This is an interesting weekend for me. I’m very excited about two events tomorrow. In the morning, I get to watch one of my wife’s friends get her doctorate from Stanford… followed by a graduation speech from Oprah. It’s kind of sad that I’m not really interested in her for any reason other than she’s Oprah. I’m not exactly a fan.

After I’m done with Oprah, I have to hop on the Celtics’ bandwagon and root with some friends at a bar. I didn’t think I’d find basketball interesting ever again, but between Pierce coming back from the injury last week and the 24 point road comeback… wow, they have me captivated.

Lastly, I’d like to wish my own dad a Happy Father’s Day. I wish we could have shared the day with you.