I have a confession to make. I have had a tank on my Amazon wish-list for over two and a half years now. As Lazy as I am, it’s time for me to make this a reality. No it’s not a hot water tank or a fish tank – it’s a drive-around-and-run-over-stuff tank. It even comes with a cool name – the Badonkadonk – or Donk for short. Let me be clear, I don’t spend the day thinking, “I really want to do some damage today.” Well, at least not every part of the day. There are a lot of other things that can be done with a tank (let me know in the comments).
My friends had a lot of good fun when they discovered the Badonkadonk on my wish-list. If one them happened to win the lottery for a re-“Donk”-ulous amount of money, I think NAO Design would have an order in their in-box. Neither me, nor my friends play the lottery, so it’s going to take a little more planning for this to happen.
How am I going to make my dreams of tank ownership a reality? It comes down to budgeting. At a nickel shy of $20,000, it’s cheaper than the average car. NAO Design is clearly willing to take a loss on shipping as well. I live about ten miles from it’s Palo Alto headquarters, but I think it will still cost more than $14.99 in gas alone for them to ship it to me. However $20,000 is still not chump change (at least not for me). I need to have another plan.
I can see two viable ways of getting me in a Badonkadonk. The first would be to get those friends together and purchase it together. People buy timeshare vacations everyday – why not do that with tanks? We could be the pioneers of an entire “tank-share” industry. If I can convince 6 friends to give around $3500 we’d be there. That’s less than $300 a month. The downside is that each of us would only have the tank two months of the year. That’s still two months more of tank-time than I have today.
If I can’t convince my friends to join in, I have a plan B. I’ve got two words for you: tank rentals. I could rent the tank at the bargain price of $20/hr. At that price, I would nearly own the tank if I could have it rented for 1,000 hours of the year – just 20 hours a week. I could even rent it out for special occasions at a bulk rate of $250/day. I haven’t done extensive market research, but I believe this is a fair price for a once-in-a-lifetime experience. What makes a bigger impression at the prom – a limo or a tank? How about tailgating at Lambeau field before the Packers’ game? I think you know the answer.
If you see me posting less often in the upcoming months, it’s because I’m focusing on my efforts on making tank-ownership a reality. Once I complete that, I’ll be able to re-focus my goals on the journey of becoming financially independent.
Everyone needs a drive around and run over stuff tank, but I think you should get the “blow up junk” add-on because that totally just rounds the whole package out. The add-on will affect your projections is totally worth it.
I’ll go in with you on the Badonkadonk… :)
BTW, I can’t believe you can buy a tank through Amazon hahaha
Man, talk about a way to get someone to click in from their RSS reader ;)
I think you need one of those crazy PneumatiPak II potato guns to go with your tank. I would pay $20 to play with that.
I’m sure you could get more than $20 /hr to rent out a tank. I bet people would pay more more like $50-100 an hour to drive around in a tank. You might need some *very* high liability insurance though. :-)
Please tell me you only want to buy a tank on Amazon because it’s the first of the month! Btw that tank needs some 20 inch chrome rims on it.
absolutely hilarious!
Best personal finance post I’ve seen today. Two thumbs up.
I really wish this wasn’t a April 1 post…
I secretly really, really want a tank as well…what do you think about forming a tank co-op? (like they have for jets) We could ride around visiting banks, other PF bloggers, etc…
man that would be cool.
I’d chip in, except that I believe DC traffic laws frown on tanks. ;)
Dude. Baby want.
*checks Sonic Screwdriver fund, notes it is about $19951.72 short.*
After driving a Bradley, that thing looks ten degrees beyond lame. Does it have an optional chain gun?
Good news: I found a site where they’ll pay YOU to drive a tank:
http://www.army.com/enlist/
$1340/month + a free helmet.
A tank on April 1st? I get it
I’ll chip in on the tank with you!
Excellent post – nothing worse than an April fools post that tanks!
Mike
This must be a April Fool joke.
i’m thinking this isn’t an april fool’s joke, because i could see myself at least renting this thing for a manly getaway or friend’s birthday. Sad, but true!
Count me in when you decide that it was not an April Fools joke. We can share from 360 miles away, right?
Hmmm…Looks suspisiously like a giant robot foot from those Japanese cartoons. I think I’ll wait for the arms or torso to come out. Then we can all join up and begin our bid for world domination.
Seems like a good deal though. I’ll be able to buy one in about 4 seconds with my pretend income stream :D
Is this really serious? Is there really such as thing as a Badonkadonk?
Hey, did you see this on slashdot?
http://rss.slashdot.org/~r/Slashdot/slashdot/~3/265790278/article.pl
hth,
mr. stupid
I’m much too Lazy to spend two years making my own tank. I’m not skilled enough either.