Comments on: To Wed or Not to Wed http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/ Saving, Earning, and Investing Money Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:33:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Hanna http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-151076 Hanna Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:59:42 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-151076 I would have had the wedding. What a waste of time, money, and energy! I got married Sept 15, 2001 in NY, just days after the towers fell. Believe me when I say it was an emotional time for everyone. Still, I felt that everyone was happy to have something to celebrate, and no one looks back on the wedding as a mistake. My sister's husband spent a lot of time convincing HIS sister that she and her husband should attend, though they'd lost a close friend on 9/11 -- and finally they did come, and they were so happy to do it. I realize it's not the same thing as losing a grandparent, but death is part of life, and joy a part of sorrow. Honoring your grandparent by continuing with your wedding and talking about him there, with so many people that loved him as well seems like the best thing to do. I would have had the wedding. What a waste of time, money, and energy! I got married Sept 15, 2001 in NY, just days after the towers fell. Believe me when I say it was an emotional time for everyone. Still, I felt that everyone was happy to have something to celebrate, and no one looks back on the wedding as a mistake. My sister’s husband spent a lot of time convincing HIS sister that she and her husband should attend, though they’d lost a close friend on 9/11 — and finally they did come, and they were so happy to do it.
I realize it’s not the same thing as losing a grandparent, but death is part of life, and joy a part of sorrow. Honoring your grandparent by continuing with your wedding and talking about him there, with so many people that loved him as well seems like the best thing to do.

]]> By: Michael - The Fat Loss Authority http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-151029 Michael - The Fat Loss Authority Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:18:54 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-151029 Sad wedding story but fantastic bar find. $1.75 pints? Unheard of unless it's in a divey part of town which in this case it was not. Good story... Mike Sad wedding story but fantastic bar find. $1.75 pints? Unheard of unless it’s in a divey part of town which in this case it was not. Good story…

Mike

]]> By: Sheryl http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-151009 Sheryl Sun, 18 Oct 2009 13:50:37 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-151009 It seems clear to me that whoever (I assume the bride's mom or dad) was notified of the grandfather's death should have kept the news to themselves until 2 days after the wedding. That's what I would've done. However, had I known I would've probably gotten married anyway. Although if his death had been sudden, I would've probably canceled if we were very close. It seems clear to me that whoever (I assume the bride’s mom or dad) was notified of the grandfather’s death should have kept the news to themselves until 2 days after the wedding. That’s what I would’ve done. However, had I known I would’ve probably gotten married anyway. Although if his death had been sudden, I would’ve probably canceled if we were very close.

]]> By: partgypsy http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-151008 partgypsy Sun, 18 Oct 2009 13:25:34 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-151008 Life is a mixture of sad things and happy things. It's too bad the happy thing got canceled (and canceled is the right word, and I'm sure all the guests are not going to travel for their do-over)to put emphasis only on the sad thing; I don't think that's the right. In a number of weddings I've been to there has been a moment reserved to honor relatives and close friends of the family who had passed away and were unable to be there in person. In this case where the grandfather was known to be ill in advance and there was time to prepare and in a sense "mourn" for him, I think it is perfectly appropriate to continue with the wedding, because the wedding isn't just about the bride's parents, it is about the bride and groom starting a new life together and celebrating and honoring that with their family and friends (many whom had to spend money and change their schedule to be there). Life is a mixture of sad things and happy things. It’s too bad the happy thing got canceled (and canceled is the right word, and I’m sure all the guests are not going to travel for their do-over)to put emphasis only on the sad thing; I don’t think that’s the right. In a number of weddings I’ve been to there has been a moment reserved to honor relatives and close friends of the family who had passed away and were unable to be there in person.
In this case where the grandfather was known to be ill in advance and there was time to prepare and in a sense “mourn” for him, I think it is perfectly appropriate to continue with the wedding, because the wedding isn’t just about the bride’s parents, it is about the bride and groom starting a new life together and celebrating and honoring that with their family and friends (many whom had to spend money and change their schedule to be there).

]]> By: Jonathan http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150911 Jonathan Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:26:04 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150911 The article "the wedding that wasn't" is a very interesting read. Years ago my aunt's soon-to-be husband John lost his father two days before his wedding. His father's wishes were that he marry the woman he loved, and move on with life. He had told him this to him before he passed. The wedding was a Catholic and Jewish wedding... One of the best I have ever attended. Throughout the wedding there was a magical balance of grief and happiness. That said, I want everyone to consider this. A friend of mine once told me, if someone truly loves you, they want what is best for you no matter what the cost or sacrifice. I think a deceased family member or friend would be horrified at the idea of their beloved family wasting a wedding on mourning if it had been mentioned before death. It's sad to hear an event that would be so happily celebrated such as a wedding would be overshadowed by an event as disheartening as a funeral. I wish the best of luck to your friend, and hope she doesn't look back with remorse in the future. The article “the wedding that wasn’t” is a very interesting read.

Years ago my aunt’s soon-to-be husband John lost his father two days before his wedding. His father’s wishes were that he marry the woman he loved, and move on with life. He had told him this to him before he passed. The wedding was a Catholic and Jewish wedding… One of the best I have ever attended. Throughout the wedding there was a magical balance of grief and happiness.

That said, I want everyone to consider this. A friend of mine once told me, if someone truly loves you, they want what is best for you no matter what the cost or sacrifice. I think a deceased family member or friend would be horrified at the idea of their beloved family wasting a wedding on mourning if it had been mentioned before death.

It’s sad to hear an event that would be so happily celebrated such as a wedding would be overshadowed by an event as disheartening as a funeral.

I wish the best of luck to your friend, and hope she doesn’t look back with remorse in the future.

]]> By: Ben http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150888 Ben Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:33:33 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150888 I definitely understand the situation. I got married 3 weeks ago... and my grandpa died 3 days before the wedding. We went forward with the wedding but it was tough for the everyone, especially because he was so excited for us to be married. At the beginning of the ceremony, we took a moment to honor his memory. In this way, I felt like he was able to be there with us in spirit. I definitely understand the situation. I got married 3 weeks ago… and my grandpa died 3 days before the wedding.

We went forward with the wedding but it was tough for the everyone, especially because he was so excited for us to be married. At the beginning of the ceremony, we took a moment to honor his memory. In this way, I felt like he was able to be there with us in spirit.

]]> By: David @ Money Under 30 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150835 David @ Money Under 30 Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:35:28 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150835 Ouch. I can't imagine what I would've done in this situation. Financially it obviously makes sense to have the wedding anyway, but emotionally I can understand why they didn't. I can't play Monday morning quarterback on this one---no way to know how it would feel in this particular family's situation. Thanks for sharing, though! Ouch.

I can’t imagine what I would’ve done in this situation. Financially it obviously makes sense to have the wedding anyway, but emotionally I can understand why they didn’t. I can’t play Monday morning quarterback on this one—no way to know how it would feel in this particular family’s situation. Thanks for sharing, though!

]]> By: Four Pillars http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150831 Four Pillars Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:17:32 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150831 They totally should have had the wedding. I went a wedding once where the groom's grandmother had passed away the day before. It was unfortunate but she was very old and it wasn't unexpected. I have to say this was probably the most interesting posts I've read in a long time. Between the wedding drama and the Sawgrass happy hour - great stuff. They totally should have had the wedding. I went a wedding once where the groom’s grandmother had passed away the day before. It was unfortunate but she was very old and it wasn’t unexpected.

I have to say this was probably the most interesting posts I’ve read in a long time. Between the wedding drama and the Sawgrass happy hour – great stuff.

]]> By: Steve http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150830 Steve Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:49:58 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150830 Yeah, I think you have to soldier ahead with the wedding - you have to consider the huge effort friends and family made to get there and, frankly, how happy GF would have been to see his granddaughter married. Sounds like a tiny bit of cold feet might've been mixed in there... well, sounds like you enjoyed good ole Ponte Vedra Beach anyway :) Yeah, I think you have to soldier ahead with the wedding – you have to consider the huge effort friends and family made to get there and, frankly, how happy GF would have been to see his granddaughter married.

Sounds like a tiny bit of cold feet might’ve been mixed in there… well, sounds like you enjoyed good ole Ponte Vedra Beach anyway :)

]]> By: First Step http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150829 First Step Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:33:29 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150829 Wow. If Grandpa wouldn't have been at the wedding anyway, I would have overruled Mom and had my wedding. Although, it wasn't a destination wedding, the same thing happened to my best friend. Her grandpa (who had been seriously ill for a long time) died on the morning of her wedding day. We (all the bridesmaids) convinced her that Pawpaw wouldn't have wanted her to cancel, and she had her wedding. If we had traveled for the wedding, we would have been even more insistent that she not give up her day. Wow. If Grandpa wouldn’t have been at the wedding anyway, I would have overruled Mom and had my wedding. Although, it wasn’t a destination wedding, the same thing happened to my best friend. Her grandpa (who had been seriously ill for a long time) died on the morning of her wedding day. We (all the bridesmaids) convinced her that Pawpaw wouldn’t have wanted her to cancel, and she had her wedding. If we had traveled for the wedding, we would have been even more insistent that she not give up her day.

]]> By: Lazy Man http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150821 Lazy Man Fri, 16 Oct 2009 01:13:02 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150821 There's really no postponing it because all her friends aren't going to fly from around the country a second time. It was amazing to get them there once. There’s really no postponing it because all her friends aren’t going to fly from around the country a second time. It was amazing to get them there once.

]]> By: Financial Samurai http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/to-wed-or-not-to-wed/comment-page-1/#comment-150818 Financial Samurai Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:45:13 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/?p=2425#comment-150818 Tough decision. Yes, grandpa may have wanted it, but maybe not the bride's parents b/c losing anybody's mother is rough. You can't reasonable feel happy and celebrate on the best day of your life with this unfortunate incident. Hence, I think it right to postpone and let grievement occur, even if it does cost $10,000. Financial Samurai Tough decision. Yes, grandpa may have wanted it, but maybe not the bride’s parents b/c losing anybody’s mother is rough.

You can’t reasonable feel happy and celebrate on the best day of your life with this unfortunate incident. Hence, I think it right to postpone and let grievement occur, even if it does cost $10,000.

Financial Samurai

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