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Three Ridiculous and Stupid Ideas that Save You Money

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While all of my posts are for your entertainment to some extent, this one in particular is intended as pure entertainment. I have to say such things, because otherwise people may think I'm serious.

If you didn't read the above italics and somehow missed the word "stupid" in the title, let this be yet another warning. These can be dangerous, so don't try them at home... or in car... or in a park... well anywhere outside of the home either. Simplified... just don't try them... thanks.

  • Donate blood to save on alcohol

  • How it saves you money: Get drunk off of 1 beer instead of a 6-pack. Your beer budget just dropped more than 80%. By donating the blood you can even make money.
    Why it works:Since you have less blood, your Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) goes through the roof with less alcohol.
    Why it's stupid: Donating blood = good. Drinking a beer = good. Donating blood + drinking a beer = bad. Besides that, getting drunk... not exactly recommended by 9 of the 10 leading doctors. I knew someone who tried this in college. Though he could out-drink anyone I knew under normal circumstances, the result of this experiment wasn't pretty - he was wishing that Doc Brown had a DeLorean for him. Some things you should just trust me on. This would fall into that category.

  • Go on a Ramen and water diet for a month

  • How it saves you money: You can probably eat for less than $10 for the month.
    Why it works: Ramen is ridiculously cheap. Water is even cheaper.
    Why it's stupid: I shouldn't have to explain why malnutrition is bad... so I won't. Plus I'm too Lazy to look up how long it takes for scurvy kicks in... despite the bonus "cool points" for dying like a pirate.

  • Hypermile by tailgating big truck

  • How it saves you money: You get much better gas mileage.
    Why it works: Wind resistance is greatly reduced, so your car requires less fuel to keep it's current pace.
    Why it's stupid: I've never looked at a pancake and thought, "It would be cool to be one of those", have you? Even if you have this deep pancake fetish, think of the person in the truck or the other 86 cars that would be in the pile-up. I'd wager that at 80 of those drivers would put "Try not to end the day as a pancake" at the top of their wish list if you presented them with this scenario.

I wish I could say that these are contrived examples that no one would ever think of doing. Sadly, I bet they are being done by someone as your read this.

Posted on September 29, 2008.

This post deals with:

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Humor

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14 Responses to “Three Ridiculous and Stupid Ideas that Save You Money”

  1. Matt says:

    I spent a semester in college living largely off of Ramen and having the occasional meal with nutrients every week. I had no money and was not on a meal plan. It left me with no energy and felt horrible on the days when I had nothing but Ramen.
    That said, there are ways to spice it up like throwing in some frozen veggies or using an egg to make it more like an egg drop soup. Still not optimal but figuring that out helped my health a little bit back then. I would pray for frozen veggies to go on sale for a while.

  2. imelda says:

    a neighbour before cooks 2 ramen for 8 people and it was their viand for the rice.

    . . .a sign of poverty.

  3. MDTM says:

    ramen with eggs, nice soup for me . .

    uv got a malnutritious joke here. . .

  4. Happy Steve says:

    According to Snopes ( http://www.snopes.com/college/horrors/scurvy.asp ) it’ll take about 20-40 days without Vitamin C to develop scurvy. But it takes so very little to prevent it. A mere 5-7 mg, a single tomato slice or a quarter cup of cooked potatoes, a day.

    Of course, then there’s the huge amounts of sodium in the ramen.

  5. James says:

    Amusing post, I was hoping to seem some more examples of dumb ways to save money in the comments. It also got me to wondering about the cheapest way to provide basic nutrition, somethings that would keep you alive for a few months if necessary. I guess moving way out into the country, and the crazy world situation, have me developing a slightly paranoid, survivalist mentality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. So I have a generator and kerosene heater, and I’ve laid up a few bottles of propane for the ol’ Coleman stove. Just with I could justify the expense (you’d be surprised) of adding a hand pump to my well so I can have potable water if the ‘lectric goes out for me than a few days.

  6. Lazy Man says:

    I’ve thought that Ramen or rice could be supplemented with a some cans of tuna (protein) and some vitamins. It could probably keep you going for a few months. If you had extra money to splurge add some dried fruit.

    I’ve always thought that it would be a good idea to keep some peanuts in the car. Very portable food, lots of calories, and because they spoil make a good emergency pack.

  7. WordVixen says:

    I never thought EntreCard was really worth it, until I clicked through to here from a friend’s blog.

    Awesome post! So bookmarking you. :) But, dangit, now I’m hungry for Ramen.

  8. Daphne says:

    This made me laugh! Good work bringing cheer to so many people at a time like this.

    ps: Luckily I don’t like ramen! :)

  9. I wonder how many college students will read that and immediately sign up to donate blood.

    I would have probably tried some idiot antic like that back in the day.

  10. Lazy Man says:

    If college students read that and sign up to donate blood at least something good came from it.

  11. Mayy Davis says:

    Do you really donate that much blood? Wow.

    And I can definitely vouch for the Ramen Noodle thing. When I started working full time, I figured instead of going out to eat, I’d just eat a few cup of noodles a day and be good.

    BAD IDEA.

    It killed my energy and made me feel sick all the time, and I stopped doing it after the first week.

    Supplement your diets folks!

  12. Probably just a rumor, but I heard a story about a college student getting scurvy after eating only ramen for a month.

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