The Toughest Questions For Me To Answer |
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Ever since I’ve stopped working at my day job, everyday conversations with friends have gotten difficult. You don’t notice the number of times that people nonchalantly as how your job is going - until you are jobless. It’s as if they are saying, “How are you doing?”, without expecting to get a long, detailed answer. However, the last few times I have been asked that, they have been quite surprised.
I really don’t know how to answer the questions of “How’s Work?” or “What do you do?” I try to say, “I was asked to resign, but I was looking to quit anyway”, but people assume that to be a negative life circumstance. I start to hear things like, “I’m sorry” and “Wow I didn’t know…” You’d think that someone close to me just died.
The next question is the all-too-obvious, “How’s the job search going?” How do I tell them that I’m not looking for another job? I tried that with one friend and he seemed ready to check me into an psychiatric hospital. I can’t tell them about my alternative income or my blogs and remain anonymous. I realize I must sound like I spend my days wallowing in a Cheeto powder mess watching TV.
I haven’t told my mom about my job situation since she’d have the same reaction as my friends. She’d probably offer to try to help out risking her own retirement income. Is there anyway to break people’s preconceived notions that you must have a job?
This post deals with: ... and focuses on:Financial Freedom
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Propeller29 Responses to “The Toughest Questions For Me To Answer”
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November 28th, 2007 at 7:53 am
Oh, so sorry…I didn’t realize this was an older discussion. (My feed reader reset and I didn’t check the date.)
November 28th, 2007 at 7:51 am
I also agree with The Digerati Life.
In response to when people ask you what you do, I think “I’m an investor” or “financier” would be adequate. Or even “financial consultant” thanks to this blog. (As a military brat, I have that same hesitation when someone asks me where I’m from. Hahahah!)
Regarding being honest with friends and family: I think it’s important for financial bloggers to keep a bit of the veil of anonymity between friends and family. That gives the bloggers the freedom to discuss very personal experiences without offending/worrying when exposing private thoughts and experiences as examples for their readers. To me, this is the best part of the financial blogs I have been reading (many of the ones by those commenting in this thread, btw). The “here’s what I did” and “here’s where I went wrong/did well” personal experience part of the writing is what speaks to me as a non-financial blogger reader. What I read in your blogs becomes part of my inner conversation with myself regarding finance. The more of your personal experience you are willing to share, the easier it is to insert your “voice” into internal conversation. If keeping that privacy/anonymity veil is what is required to make the finance bloggers be comfortable sharing that experience, then I selfishly encourage you to continue to do so.
And that’s my long-winded post for today!
November 17th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Same here, totally agree with The Digerati Life.
But sometimes will reply something like this “I’m not doing well recently”…
Surprise right? The reason I do this sometimes just to create abnormality, and when people heard this, they will ask me ‘oh why?’
And this is the time where you can break you ice easily…sounds good?
cheers from,
Bernard
November 3rd, 2007 at 10:45 am
My typical response is: my business is doing fine thank you!
Oh, that would be the case when I leave the job. Actually Lazy, I’m on the fast track to leaving now. I have begun plans for the next 6 to 8 months and have set some things in motion to make this happen. Haven’t felt more relief in a while. My plan is to study new skills that my spouse has suggested I do in the tech field so that:
(a) I can either help him with his own business where he needs those technical skills or
(b) I can do freelancing work as well whenever I decide to get a contract position.
The key is to be able to make enough to try to build up to our current cash flow. I look forward to this challenge. In 8 months time, I should be out of my old job.
November 2nd, 2007 at 10:44 am
Bluntmoney, I don’t want people thinking that I’m lazy or anything like that… Oops, maybe it’s a little late for that :-).
November 2nd, 2007 at 10:08 am
Hm, I don’t get why this is a problem. If you’re working but not employed, why not just say “works going good, I work for myself now”. If you’re not working, say that you’re volunteering or staying at home or whatever it is that you’re doing.
I didn’t work for several years, and I didn’t mind the “how’s work?” type questions. What I did mind at first were people who followed up with “Why don’t you get a job?!”. I’d just tell them the truth: I didn’t want to, and didn’t need to. Eventually I realized that what actually irritated me was my OWN belief that maybe there was something wrong with not “working”. I got over that
October 31st, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Nickem: That’s a great idea. Unfortunately, my mom would want me to fly home every month to see her and our finances wouldn’t allow for that. It’s a pretty slick plan though.
October 31st, 2007 at 3:58 pm
If I was in the same situation, I would tell my friends that “I came into a goodly sum of cash. My wife and I have agreed to not discuss it as it is a personal matter. Meanwhile, we are doing quite well are blessed to be able to re-evaluate our lifestyles. I am sure that you can understand our situation.”
Mom would be delighted, I am sure.
October 31st, 2007 at 8:34 am
See http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/yesterday-i-resigned-will-i-ever-work-again/. I don’t have a typical day as of a couple of weeks ago.