Comments on: The Cost of My Wedding – Part 2 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/ Saving, Earning, and Investing Money Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:22:17 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Fabulously Broke http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-11013 Fabulously Broke Sat, 14 Jul 2007 16:18:37 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-11013 All that matters is that it was YOUR wedding, and both you and your wife were on the SAME page together in terms of what you wanted. I've seen too many brides get heady with power and spend TRIPLE what they budgeted because their spouse allowed them even though he constantly worried behind the scenes and had to cut many many corners to appease his bridezilla. My friend (in perspective) is spending $50k on a wedding for the same amount of people :P As for saving money on pictures - we did the same thing. We got digital pictures, I editted/cropped them for free on Photoshop and I burned them to CDs for everyone who attended, and let them decide which ones they wanted to print and how many of. Me, I'm printing ALL of them to put in a wedding album I got as a gift, along with our families' pictures... All that matters is that it was YOUR wedding, and both you and your wife were on the SAME page together in terms of what you wanted. I’ve seen too many brides get heady with power and spend TRIPLE what they budgeted because their spouse allowed them even though he constantly worried behind the scenes and had to cut many many corners to appease his bridezilla.

My friend (in perspective) is spending $50k on a wedding for the same amount of people :P

As for saving money on pictures – we did the same thing. We got digital pictures, I editted/cropped them for free on Photoshop and I burned them to CDs for everyone who attended, and let them decide which ones they wanted to print and how many of. Me, I’m printing ALL of them to put in a wedding album I got as a gift, along with our families’ pictures…

]]> By: Lazy Man http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-11011 Lazy Man Sat, 14 Jul 2007 06:42:50 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-11011 Kristina: "I didn’t really want to bring in the net expense into things, because it just seems wrong to factor in gifts." I wouldn't budget a wedding based on what I could pay for in cash. It's true that we were able to pay for everything in cash (well credit card that were paid off instantly to earn the rewards), but if you want to have 200 people eating in a function hall, it's going to cost you tens of thousand of dollars either way you cut it. Thanks for the defense on the down payment, but I like to appeal to all parts of the country. I realize my reality in the SF Bay area is different than many people's. I think the plan of paying what you can afford in cash is kind of flawed. I could choose to avoid investments, retirement savings and everything else so that I'd have lots of cash making everything "affordable" :-). Kristina: “I didn’t really want to bring in the net expense into things, because it just seems wrong to factor in gifts.”

I wouldn’t budget a wedding based on what I could pay for in cash. It’s true that we were able to pay for everything in cash (well credit card that were paid off instantly to earn the rewards), but if you want to have 200 people eating in a function hall, it’s going to cost you tens of thousand of dollars either way you cut it.

Thanks for the defense on the down payment, but I like to appeal to all parts of the country. I realize my reality in the SF Bay area is different than many people’s.

I think the plan of paying what you can afford in cash is kind of flawed. I could choose to avoid investments, retirement savings and everything else so that I’d have lots of cash making everything “affordable” :-).

]]> By: Kristina http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-11010 Kristina Sat, 14 Jul 2007 06:26:56 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-11010 I find it profoundly depressing that people are discussing wedding costs in terms of how much you make up or make back in gifts. That is terribly crass and an awful sign of how are materialistic and excessively marketed to society has twisted once pleasant social customs. Not to mention that most of these attitudes and practices violate all notions of manners according to any traditional book on ethics out there. Weddings are suppose to be events thrown BY the people getting married FOR their guests with the purpose of celebrating and blessing their union. Gifts should not be center stage. Nor should any other material displays. There is no such etiquette rule that people are suppose to buy gifts equivalent to how much the hosts pay per plate. That's a falsehood invented in recent years (or maybe decades) by marketers and over-indulged brides and grooms. It is also crude to ask for cash or to otherwise dictate how people should spend their money. If people choose to give a gift, it should be something thoughtful that falls within their budget. End of story. Next topic: do not try to budget your wedding according to some percentage of your salary or net worth. It should cost what you can comfortably afford to pay for in CASH. Or less. Much less if you prefer. Just because you can afford it doesn't mean you need to spend tens of thousands on one day. Perhaps you'd rather use the money for something else or for other gatherings where you gather the ones you love. Finally, people from low-cost parts of the country really shouldn't comment about down payments on houses in the Bay Area. 23k certainly is not a down payment on a house and a car out here. First of all, you shouldn't be making down payments on cars...people should buy what they can afford in cash and no more. Second, studio apartments in the Bay Area can cost $200,000 - 300,000, so the blogger is correct that $23,000 isn't even a decent down payment around here (at least for people who want to be financially responsible and not take out ridiculous mortgages). I find it profoundly depressing that people are discussing wedding costs in terms of how much you make up or make back in gifts. That is terribly crass and an awful sign of how are materialistic and excessively marketed to society has twisted once pleasant social customs. Not to mention that most of these attitudes and practices violate all notions of manners according to any traditional book on ethics out there. Weddings are suppose to be events thrown BY the people getting married FOR their guests with the purpose of celebrating and blessing their union. Gifts should not be center stage. Nor should any other material displays. There is no such etiquette rule that people are suppose to buy gifts equivalent to how much the hosts pay per plate. That’s a falsehood invented in recent years (or maybe decades) by marketers and over-indulged brides and grooms. It is also crude to ask for cash or to otherwise dictate how people should spend their money. If people choose to give a gift, it should be something thoughtful that falls within their budget. End of story.

Next topic: do not try to budget your wedding according to some percentage of your salary or net worth. It should cost what you can comfortably afford to pay for in CASH. Or less. Much less if you prefer. Just because you can afford it doesn’t mean you need to spend tens of thousands on one day. Perhaps you’d rather use the money for something else or for other gatherings where you gather the ones you love.

Finally, people from low-cost parts of the country really shouldn’t comment about down payments on houses in the Bay Area. 23k certainly is not a down payment on a house and a car out here. First of all, you shouldn’t be making down payments on cars…people should buy what they can afford in cash and no more. Second, studio apartments in the Bay Area can cost $200,000 – 300,000, so the blogger is correct that $23,000 isn’t even a decent down payment around here (at least for people who want to be financially responsible and not take out ridiculous mortgages).

]]> By: MossySF http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-11004 MossySF Fri, 13 Jul 2007 17:31:07 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-11004 The wedding costs seems about right for the number of people and location. Roughly what I paid also. Nothing you can do about location, space and food. You can try your best to cut costs in different areas but when you have that many people, who's going to cook a delicious banquest feast? And where are they going to sit to eat? The wedding costs seems about right for the number of people and location. Roughly what I paid also. Nothing you can do about location, space and food. You can try your best to cut costs in different areas but when you have that many people, who’s going to cook a delicious banquest feast? And where are they going to sit to eat?

]]> By: The Digerati Life http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10989 The Digerati Life Fri, 13 Jul 2007 06:28:07 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10989 Dude, Don't feel too guilty about that $23K amount. I spent $25K on my 200 person wedding in 1995. Some of the costs were neutralized from all the cash gifts I received. I come from a culture where cash gifts are quite acceptable. I'll need to write a tie-in post on this to describe what my own wedding cost! :) Dude,
Don’t feel too guilty about that $23K amount. I spent $25K on my 200 person wedding in 1995. Some of the costs were neutralized from all the cash gifts I received. I come from a culture where cash gifts are quite acceptable. I’ll need to write a tie-in post on this to describe what my own wedding cost! :)

]]> By: Jon Van Deurzen http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10973 Jon Van Deurzen Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:35:55 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10973 I don't think that 20K to 25K is too bad for a wedding of your size in your area of the country. 3 weeks ago I got married, and I believe that it cost around 10K - 12K with 190 people (around $18 a plate). We were married in Sturgeon Bay, WI, a high tourist area where she grew up. Beautiful if you get the chance to go. We were fortunate to have her family pay for a majority of the wedding costs, so I couldn't keep exact tabs on the amount of money. We saved some money a few ways... 1. My uncle is a photographer and did the professional photography for us at no cost. http://picasaweb.google.com/discgolf14324 2. For "open bar" we had a limit on the number of bottles of wine and kegs of beer. But we did have an unlimited open bar for anyone in the wedding party. 3. The women all took care of their own makeup and hair. 4. We also took care of decorating the resort ourselves. 5. We also printed up our own programs and invites. Overall, we actually made a little money. Congrats by the way. I don’t think that 20K to 25K is too bad for a wedding of your size in your area of the country. 3 weeks ago I got married, and I believe that it cost around 10K – 12K with 190 people (around $18 a plate). We were married in Sturgeon Bay, WI, a high tourist area where she grew up. Beautiful if you get the chance to go.

We were fortunate to have her family pay for a majority of the wedding costs, so I couldn’t keep exact tabs on the amount of money.

We saved some money a few ways…
1. My uncle is a photographer and did the professional photography for us at no cost. http://picasaweb.google.com/discgolf14324
2. For “open bar” we had a limit on the number of bottles of wine and kegs of beer. But we did have an unlimited open bar for anyone in the wedding party.
3. The women all took care of their own makeup and hair.
4. We also took care of decorating the resort ourselves.
5. We also printed up our own programs and invites.

Overall, we actually made a little money.

Congrats by the way.

]]> By: Brent http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10972 Brent Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:34:01 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10972 Thanks for your great advice. My fiance and I just started planning our wedding. We are from Florida, but we were thinking about having a destination wedding up in the areas you talk about. Are there any specific towns or places you might recommend for a wedding of about 50? Since we are going smaller, we are ok with going a little more high end, but we don't want to spend more than we would have with a larger sized (125-150 person) wedding. If you would like to email me directly, my email is bgatoruf at yahoo dot com. Thanks in advance, Brent PS--In regards to the bar, I have had many discussions on this subject, and one of the top things people remember (or don't remember if it is done right) is the bar. So cheers for doing it properly. Thanks for your great advice. My fiance and I just started planning our wedding. We are from Florida, but we were thinking about having a destination wedding up in the areas you talk about. Are there any specific towns or places you might recommend for a wedding of about 50? Since we are going smaller, we are ok with going a little more high end, but we don’t want to spend more than we would have with a larger sized (125-150 person) wedding. If you would like to email me directly, my email is bgatoruf at yahoo dot com.

Thanks in advance,
Brent

PS–In regards to the bar, I have had many discussions on this subject, and one of the top things people remember (or don’t remember if it is done right) is the bar. So cheers for doing it properly.

]]> By: gail http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10971 gail Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:33:44 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10971 Congratulations. Those that say you spent too much are those that this saying belongs to :people know the cost of everything, but the value of nothing" The memories are far more valuable than the money you spent. Many years of happiness, health, and wealth. Congratulations.

Those that say you spent too much are those that this saying belongs to :people know the cost of everything, but the value of nothing”

The memories are far more valuable than the money you spent.

Many years of happiness, health, and wealth.

]]> By: Customers Revenge http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10970 Customers Revenge Wed, 11 Jul 2007 15:40:13 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10970 I think you should consider costs net of gifts. Your wedding cost a little over $100 per guest, and I would hope that the guests would probably give you something close to that on average as gifts. Maybe it's strange, but my gift to a newlywed couple is usually cash for a little more than I think it cost them to tie the knot. I hate buying people overpriced wedding-stuff, especially if they're not just starting out and so don't really need it. Sometimes I buy them something personal, like a piece of art, but usually it's just money. At my wedding I nearly broke even, and we didn't get assistance except through the cash gifts. I think you should consider costs net of gifts. Your wedding cost a little over $100 per guest, and I would hope that the guests would probably give you something close to that on average as gifts. Maybe it’s strange, but my gift to a newlywed couple is usually cash for a little more than I think it cost them to tie the knot. I hate buying people overpriced wedding-stuff, especially if they’re not just starting out and so don’t really need it. Sometimes I buy them something personal, like a piece of art, but usually it’s just money.

At my wedding I nearly broke even, and we didn’t get assistance except through the cash gifts.

]]> By: dong http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10969 dong Wed, 11 Jul 2007 15:39:44 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10969 I think open bar is the one place everyone should splurge on in wedding. Nobody cares about the food that much - wedding food is never going to be the best meal - a good meal but not a great meal. No meal being prepared for a large group can be all things to all people (let alone be the best prepared). I was at a wedding a few months ago, and we did a straight taste test with some different vodkas given that it was open bar... Almost universally everyone agreed that Ketel One was the best. That's probably because it had the least flavor. Grey Goose ended up being on par with Absolut in terms of the ratings. I think open bar is the one place everyone should splurge on in wedding. Nobody cares about the food that much – wedding food is never going to be the best meal – a good meal but not a great meal. No meal being prepared for a large group can be all things to all people (let alone be the best prepared).

I was at a wedding a few months ago, and we did a straight taste test with some different vodkas given that it was open bar… Almost universally everyone agreed that Ketel One was the best. That’s probably because it had the least flavor. Grey Goose ended up being on par with Absolut in terms of the ratings.

]]> By: James http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10967 James Wed, 11 Jul 2007 15:13:50 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10967 You mentioned Grey Goose is the "best stuff." I agree Grey Goose is a phenomenal brand, but have you ever tasted it next to Level or any of the other competitors? If not, you should. Level blows it away. In fact, almost any super premium vodka blows it away. Heck, Smirnoff tastes better. Goose comes in hot and gets even hotter in your mouth. 20/20 did a blind taste test a few months ago and Goose fared terribly; especially with self-professed Goose drinkers. My two cents... You mentioned Grey Goose is the “best stuff.” I agree Grey Goose is a phenomenal brand, but have you ever tasted it next to Level or any of the other competitors? If not, you should. Level blows it away. In fact, almost any super premium vodka blows it away. Heck, Smirnoff tastes better.

Goose comes in hot and gets even hotter in your mouth. 20/20 did a blind taste test a few months ago and Goose fared terribly; especially with self-professed Goose drinkers.

My two cents…

]]> By: mapgirl http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-10966 mapgirl Wed, 11 Jul 2007 14:49:37 +0000 http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/the-cost-of-my-wedding-part-2/#comment-10966 Nothing wrong with Napa for your honeymoon. My sibling did just that. They went for a week at a nice resort, a duration they wouldn't normally take and had a great time decompressing and relaxing after all the wind-up of the wedding. Nothing wrong with Napa for your honeymoon. My sibling did just that. They went for a week at a nice resort, a duration they wouldn’t normally take and had a great time decompressing and relaxing after all the wind-up of the wedding.

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