“I Lost My Job. Mortgage is Going to be Due.” Now What? |
6 Comments |
Last week, on May 8th, Lazy Man and Money turned one year old. In that time I have received nearly 1000 e-mails, but none like the one I received on that day:
Hi Lazy man, tell me how do you create a blog to get help to pay my bills. I was recently layed off work because of budget cuts with a non profit organizations that I was working for and I just purchased a home, and would like to keep it. I have been applying for job but have not be successful just yet need some help. Thanks, [Joyce, the made up name that I will call her to protect her anonymity].
I don’t possess the writing skills to explain how this impacted me emotionally. The desperation in the e-mail just oozed into all my waking thoughts. That night, I ended up getting about 4.5 hours of sleep instead of usual 6.5. I have mentioned this a couple of times in passing, but I’ve been pretty close to this situation. No, I didn’t own a home, but I was nearly at the point where my checking account was down to zero. I would have had to start withdrawing from my retirement accounts to pay the rent. It was back in the dot-com boom in 2001. I went 2 years without finding steady work as a software engineer. I had found three or four short-term contract jobs during that time - the longest being one month. I had been employed at another company for three months, before they cut their headcount from 100 people to 6 (I had made the first several cuts, but not the last one). I was not one of the 6.
Here are some thoughts I had after digging up the pain of that experience:
It’s incredible hard to have any kind of social life when your friends typically want to go out to a fancy restaurant. I remember one time getting invited to dinner amongst friends, and, in not one of my better moments, wrote a pretty scathing response, questioning why society dictates that we must go out and spend 10 times the cost for food at a restaurant (I still feel that way, but things change considerably when you have money in the budget for the experience). It was even harder trying to date.
If you don’t have an income, there’s a constant process in your head that calculating costs. With the dot com bust, everyone talked about “burn rates.” And now it wasn’t my company having a burn rate - it was me! Even today I count every cost. The skill I needed to get by back then, has become a habit that I can’t drop. Today, I often annoy myself with ultra-frugal thoughts.
Everything can easily spiral downward leading you into a deep depression. Not having an income is terribly depressing in it’s own. Not being able to do things with friends and getting angry at the situation doesn’t make things better. Whenever someone buys themselves something nice, it draws resentment from deep inside. It doesn’t get much worse than being alone and pennyless.
The story for me has a happy ending. I found a part-time job in the autumn of 2003 that paid more than many full-time jobs. In Feb. 2004, a contact from the old dot-bomb asked me if I was available to work at a new start-up. Knowing the people, I jumped on the opportunity and made more than average person, but still a disappointing salary for a software engineer. In the same month, I met a woman whom I would eventually ask to marry me. Last year, she got a big promotion to move out to Silicon Valley. As a software engineer, I saw my salary jump when we got out here as well. Now that things are moving in a much more positive direction, I’m taking action by trying to grow my alternative income sources. If put in a similar situation, I’ll be much better equiped to handle it.
So what did I learn that I can pass on to Joyce… these survival tips.
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May 14th, 2007 at 10:10 am
I do not advocate keeping an emergency fund, but let me say that for some people it’s probably an excellent idea. You’re right - the desperation in that email made it painful to read.
May 14th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
What a heart-renching email that must have been. I’m sure you’ll come up with sound advice to pass on, but to me, taht just reeks of desperation. It is excedeedingly hard to make legitimate money from blogging, and those who do ultimately end up mortgagiong the original quality of the blog in the first place.
In short, blogging about finances is not probably not going to replace their day job.
I’d suggest your reader sticks with it and keeps their head above water until a new job in their field opens up again.
But by all means, tell them to please start a finanical blog regardless. Just don’t do it thinking it’ll be a prime source of income overnight. It may not pay the bills in the strictest sense of the word, but in terms of being an enjoyable pastime and increasing their financial IQ, it will certainly pay dividends.
May 17th, 2007 at 9:42 am
1M to my name,
Why don’t you advocate an emergency fund? What do you suggest to do for reserves then?
May 17th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I was in a similar situation after 9/11.
but thats what desperation does to you. Its not a pretty place to be in. I promised
my company’s founder was on the first plane to hit WTO and the company sank after that.
In october they closed down the san diego office and laid off 250 people. I couldn’t
find a job for 4 months. very depressing.
I totally ran through my savings in those 4 months. I gave a couple of interviews
in jan but nothing happened. I got so depressed that in mid-feb I stopped reading
my email. around end of feb I got a call from the HR of a place I had interviewed.
She had emailed me an offer and wanted to know if I was going to reply! I accepted
their lowball offer immediately
myself, i’d never see a day like that again. should have atleast 12 months living
expenses liquid at all times.
May 31st, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Hello Lazy Man,
My story is long and I will try to make it short as possible. I joined the navy in February 1995 and served over 10 years. In May, 2000 I got married to a girl that would turn out to be a disaster in my life and my 3 children’s life plus my step-son.
We never got along but I tried many different occasions. In the summer 2004, my now ex-wife started to live a different life style, one that involved drugs, alcohol and introducing her new acquaintances to my children. I later learned she was giving doses of children’s night medicine to my children to keep them sleeping so she can go to night clubs and party. This was happening while I was serving in the submarine force and was either deployed or worked over night at my command. Needless to say I found out a great many things involving her care taking of my children that resulted in our divorce and my gaining full custody until recently because I am now back in court fighting for them in a different state.
I was asked to leave the navy and was honorably discharged in April 2005. The navy felt that I was not in a hardship situation so I was discharged but had to pay back over $24,000. I was homeless, jobless, and penniless. I had to move in to my ill mother’s home until something came along. I had a few things but the debt grew and I was digging in a hole I could not get out of. Not only 24 thousand dollars but since I couldn’t pay it quickly, they sent it to a debtor and I eventually had to pay almost 2 thousand more. This does not include the amount of debt my ex-wife created.
January 2006, things were starting to clear up. Not drastically but in little increments. I found a new job that paid me in excess of 80 thousand dollars. Slowly but surely I was starting to make a small dent in my chaos. Things are now headed back into the chaos because I lost my job as of 18 May 2007. I am still in over 27 thousand dollars in debt and I just got out of court not long ago for another debt. A huge portion of my taxes was garnished, for the second year, for a debt my ex-wife created with my power of attorney when I was in the navy. I have a home and a lot of people depend on me and I can’t loose them, any of them. I know I can count my blessing but most of my problems were created for me and not by me. I need help asap. What can I do?
Thank you,
Len F.
November 3rd, 2007 at 8:04 am
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