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Budgeting For a New House

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I was surfing the web earlier this week when I came across a home that I like. I haven't shown my wife it yet. It's a little larger than she's looking for and I'm a little nervous about her reaction. While she's really good at cleaning, she definitely doesn't enjoy it. This home would require a lot more cleaning than our current place... and we know that I'm too Lazy to do it. Nonetheless, I thought I'd openly brainstorm about this house... toss it by my budget and see how it goes.

You probably want to know a few things about the house. You may have read a little about it on the news already. It's the Spelling estate with a 150 million dollar asking price.

Is the Spelling Estate too Expensive?

While a price tag of over $2500 a square foot may seem expensive, I'd argue that it's not. You have to factor in all the surrounding land. How many more houses could you build on that? With a bit of work, you might be able to get that dollar per square foot down. Also, not all square feet are created equal. A square foot of a top end new stove is worth more than square foot with an a low-end one from 1976.

The Opportunity

Before we get into the costs, let's dream a little bit about how I could make money with the Spelling estate. Here are just a couple of ideas of the top of my head:

  • Make it a Museum and Charge Admission - Maybe I could turn it into a . I saw Tori Spelling on Smallville a couple of weeks ago, and she looked poised for a big acting break. That could only help the museum style business, right?
  • Rent it out for Special Occasions - Weddings are big businesses. I imagine Hollywood's rich and famous have significant money to spend for such once in a lifetime opportunities. There's no need to stop at weddings. My home could be "the it place" to have a Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, Quinceanera, or other similar celebrations. Anyone who has seen MTV's My Super Sweet 16 knows there's money to be made here.
  • Use it to Jump Start My Socialite Career - I'd get in all the newspapers as the buyer. That kind of publicity is hard to buy. I have to do more research on the socialite front before I can count on this income stream. I'm not sure if a guy can even be one. If so, do I have have a video tape get out there like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashians? Yikes, I think I just lost all but two of my readers.

I think some combination of all of the above is the answer to unlocking the full value of the home. Readers, can you help me out with other things that I missed in the comments?

Budgeting for the Mansion

I had a little difficulty in budgeting for the mansion. I fired up my mortgage calculators and found that most topped out at a paltry 10M loan. Fortunately, I can make some back of the envelope calculations with that amount. A 10M seems to lead to payments of around $70,000 a month. That would put the payments on a 150M home at around an even one million a month. However, I might be able to bargain down the 150M number a bit in this economy. I suspect I could get payments down to $900,000 a month. Judging by how much Lazy Man and Money has made over the last year, I'd need approximately 500 more sites like it.

If you are smart you'll start snapping up domains like LazyManAndBasketWeaving.com right now.

Last updated on April 3, 2009.

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9 Responses to “Budgeting For a New House”

  1. This one actually made me laugh out loud. Way better than the standard drivel. Enjoyed this!


  2. Kosmo @ The Casual Observer says:

    I heard about this on the radio.

    When you’re not sure how many rooms are in the house, maybe the house is too big?

    There are 5 maids bedrooms – are there just 5 maids, or are there 2-3 maids per bedroom? It seems that 5 maids could be kept VERY busy in a 50K square foot home.

    Buy it and turn it into executive suites for big shots who travel in/out of the area?

    Lucky realtor. 6% of 150M = 9M :)

  3. Kosmo @ The Casual Observer says:

    forgot to mention this in pvs comment.

    A flower cutting room? Wow. How big is that room?

  4. Moneymonk says:

    April fool’s Lazy

    I also received an AMEX Black card today

  5. Jon Anderson says:

    1 million a month > 230,000 a week! I don’t think your rentals will make you that much, considering that most special events are weekend, so you’ll have to offer weekday discounts. Of course, it is big enough I suppose you could have tons of events going on at once without interference.

    How much interest do you end up paying by the end of the mortgage?

  6. Jon Anderson says:

    Sorry to double comment, but I just remembered this weekend playing around on foreclosure auction pages. There is one that automatically gives mortgage calculations for every house. I told it to look for homes starting <1000, and was getting all sorts of fun quotes for $10/month 30-year mortgages!

  7. Hahahahah… keep dreaming, my friend. What a house! :)

  8. Roger says:

    Heh, sounds like you’ve got quite a bit of saving ahead of you…

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